What's Worse?

(Unsanitary Conditions Edition)

1.) Receiving your food at a restaurant only to notice that there is a splotch of blood on the side of the plate.

2.) Discovering to your horror that the blood is not from a slab of raw meat in the kitchen, but rather from a fresh wound on the waitress's finger.

3.) Sitting in shock as the offensively bloodied plate in question is left on the table, without any offer of changing the plate or getting the dish replaced.

Yes, I was shocked too. To her credit, the waitress apologized so profusely that I thought she was about to cry. Then she walked away (!!!), mumbling more apologies. She didn't even take the plate away! The splat of blood just sat there, staring at me, nasty and gross, like a booger hanging out of a priest's nose during Communion. So, being a man of action, I got a new plate from the kitchen my damn self. But this story doesn't end there. In anticipation of predictable reactions to what's coming next, oh ho ho, I'll just add another options for you to choose:

4.) After switching the food over to the clean plate, happily enjoying your hard-earned steamed glutenous rice cake (Taiwanese mi-gao) with a smile on your face.

Whaaaat? Not like the blood touched the food or anything. See what reduced expectations, low health standards and living in China for four years can do to a guy? Before I get attacked by any nervous nellies who will be sure to tell me just how unsanitary, dangerous and stupid I was to consume food that was mere inches from a fingerprint of fresh human blood, hear me out: this rice cake is always sold out when I go, so I wasn't about to waste it. I was hungry. And nothing stands in the way of a man and his food. Except, perhaps, contracting AIDS or hepatitis.