Holy Crap.

(Or, Viva La Martin!)

Album Artwork: The Damn French!
Liberty Leading The People, Eugène Delacroix (1830, Louvre)
The painting depicts a three-day uprising by republicans that took place in Paris near Delacroix's painting studio. The main character is Marianne, the symbol of the French nation (nme.com)

The new Coldplay album, Viva La Vida or Death And All His Friends, which I have been patiently waiting over four years for, will be released on June 12 (UK) and 17 (US). Other countries can suck it because I'm only concerned with that UK date... Rejoice and toss up those hallelujahs: 2008 is quickly erasing the memory of 2007 clear from my ADD-addled brain.

In other, more pressingly delightful news, the band is "very pleased" to announce that the new single "Violet Hill" will be DLable on April 29th... UK time. AND they announced a pair of free shows at Brixton (6/16) and Madison Square Garden (who cares, I'm not in the US). FREE. SHOWS. Please slap me because I'm clearly dreaming.

Now, lest you think Coldplay have taken some strange inspiration from the other famous Martin (i.e. the Puerto Rican bon-bon master), pause for a moment: the title was inspired by Frida Kahlo (Mexican artist/Salma Hayek) and the supposedly more "upbeat" tunes sprouted from the rich musical influence of Spain, Central and South America, which they visited on last year's mini tour. Trent got sober and his tunes remained kick-ass, so hopefully this bodes well for the transformation to a sunshine-y Coldplay.

I don't care if they were inspired by burros and chupacabras: this album has a lot to live up to. Like the second coming of Christ or the next immediate-free-download NIN album, new Coldplay will bring me closer to reaching enlightenment. Let's not think about what will happen once the touring begins... We'll see if I'm willing to fly farther than Singapore this time.

UPDATE: Shiiiiit... Quiet build up. Then, out of nowhere, tuned down electric guitar riffage, a heavy ass drum beat, smashing cymbals, bass-gone-groovetastic, Chris Martin's signature soaring vox and vaguely pretty lyrics. Then suddenly, a relaxing piano tinkling to signal the end. Haha, DAMN. I'm satisfied. Viva!

Free download available until 5/5 here. Just do it.

Trent Remains God

(Or, Bringing Him Closer To...Himself?)

Sweet Lord on high, it's a good time to be a nine inch nails fan. Yes, yes, you could also argue that it's also a "good time to be a Boston sports fan," but that designation has become so cliche that I'm almost glad to be in a foreign country where my bandwagon Celtics fandom goes unquestioned. Tee-hee. Anyway, back to my point.

For years (c. 1994-2004), it was quite difficult to be a supporter of Trent and his little gang of Nails. Waiting excruciatingly long spans of time between opuses (see: The Downward Spiral and The Fragile), getting kicked in the nuts with teaser tidbits like "The Perfect Drug" and it's accompanying pile of ambient/jungle remix feces, and coming to feel an extreme sense of gratitude whenever minutiae of anything remotely NIN-related would pop up. "Trent sighted at Starbucks!", "NIN Reportedly Still Making Music!", "'Closer' Named Top Song To Make Sordid S&M Nasty To!" Like an abused spouse who cherishes those quiet moments of repose between beatings. He really does love me... But once Trent kicked the drugs, something clicked in his head (and new, extremely large biceps) and "prolific" became his life mantra.

After receiving an onslaught of love via With Teeth and Beside You In Time, Year Zero and it's accompanying mind-bending online world arrived and it seemed like all those years of waiting and waiting and waiting were finally paying off. But on March 2, 2008, Trent gave everyone the biggest "Gotcha!" yet (and a big punch to the testes for Thom Yorke's pay-what-you-want model) with the surprise release of 4-disc, 36-track, megaton instrumental album, Ghosts I-IV. The initial release was an online exclusive, with packages ranging from a free sample of disc 1 for the cheap assholes, to a $5 download of the entire work (complete with badass jpgs for each individual track) and even a limited edition $300 uber-orgy of autographed goodness that sold out faster than Fall Out Boy. Ghosts is a lot to digest, but for a fan, it's like an early Christmas, birthday and cherry popping all at once.

So yesterday when I happened upon the latest news that a new single had been mastered, sent to radio, and released online for FREE within 24 hours (that's one day, people!), I immediately bust a nut, said a prayer of thanksgiving to the Almighty (the other, non-Trent one), and then bust my other nut. The new single, "Discipline", can be categorized in the "dance" section of the NIN catalog: upbeat, able to inspire booty shaking, extremely catchy, and nary a negative cussword to be found (see: "Into the Void", "Kinda I Want To", "Only", "Hand That Feeds", half of Year Zero). If this is a teaser from an upcoming album with lyrics, then I am truly in heaven. Sober Trent is frighteningly focused and efficient. Me like. Go download the track for free. No excuses!

http://dl.nin.com/discipline/nin

A Cold Day In Hell

(Or, Sacre Bleu! Supporting The French)

In all my days, I never would have thought the following words would ever creep forth from my lips, but it has to be said. Give France a break. *May the Lord have mercy on my soul* Now, before the tomatoes and heavy machinery are hurled in my direction, hear me out. I hate the French as much as any other sane individual (despite the 25% genetic makeup), but the recent politicized shitstorm between the ambiguous "West" and the Motherland is reaching unbelievable levels and even I feel for the Frogs.

Boycotting Carrefour and other French brands because a few chumps attacked the Olympic torchbearers is just laughable, yet it is the "in-thing" of the moment for the jingoist chuckleheads on the Mainland. Some taxi drivers are even going so far as to deny French people from riding in their cars. As if they could distinguish them from every other white skinned passenger (Note from the Office of the Freedom Fries: look out for that overwhelming bouquet of wine, cheese and B.O.!)

These protests are only part of a growing anti-West/pro-China fervor that includes plenty of CNN hate, some ridiculous "I Love China" MSN messenger propaganda, a large dose of T1bet-related bullshit, and even fashionable t-shirts displaying your ignorance of these current events ("T1bet was, is and always will be part of China!"). I feel like I'm back in the post-9/11 US, circa 2002, when everyone in the States was sucking Uncle Sam's cock and deifying the troops as the saviors of Earth. Now if only we had some random attacks on foreigners, it'd feel just like home! (Oh wait...)

A few years back, during the anti-Japanese protests (see: thuggish vandalism and misguided anger), I lauded the fact that the locals were voicing their opinions and making themselves heard. I take that back. If I had known that those protests were just part of a long string of over-sensitive crybaby reactions to anything even remotely perceived as a threat to the Great Motherland and "all Chinese people" (somehow, my family didn't get this memo), I wouldn't have been so supportive. Being here for 4 years, I've seen a number of these useless exercises and one thing remains clear: as long as the sentiment is anti-anything-that's-not-the

-CCP, the government is all for it, making grand statements about how the Chinese spirit won't be crushed. So was the needless destruction of Japanese restaurants, automobiles and buildings in 2005 really a good exercise in free speech? Ha! I lament the fact that I could have ever thought otherwise. It was just the same old unproductive and confused reaction by frighteningly large crowds of brainwashed idiots.

It is quite needless to point out how retarded it is to slam an entire country because of the actions of four protesters (likewise idiotic to slam all 1.3 billion Chinese for the foolishness of a couple million...). Even Jin Jing, the handicapped athlete who was lauded for protecting the torch from one protestor, is being villainized for suggesting that the anti-Carrefour protests aren't very helpful. Seriously, are people just looking for someone to lynch? The fervor of this anti-France sentiment is especially silly considering China recently celebrated "The Year Of France" with much gay fanfare.

The rampant nationalism that has taken hold of some Chinese in these months leading up to the Olympics is reaching such a point that I can't take it anymore. And it's only April... Ironically, 2008 is supposed to be the year the world "welcomes" China to the party...but it's going to go down in history as the year I was turned OFF of China.